Changes, changes and yet more changes!!!

Oh what a busy day. I should be packing my apartment. We are moving at the end of the week. Finally!!! We will be out of this tiny apartment and into a real house. I am so excited. But yet nevous to. Why feel nervous about something I really want? I guess it is the age old fear of change. I worry too much sometimes. I need a sense of stability and that will only come when we are settled somewhere. It seems most of our married life I am "getting ready to move". I hope this is the last time for a long time. I want things to work out with this house. I hope we can take the option to buy it. Right now that is so far off in the distance I find it hard to latch on to that dream.
My stress level has been so high lately. Maybe it is the impending move or the four small children or the husband who changes plans too often. All of the above sounds good to me. I wish I had taken some kind of life skills class that would have prepaired me for all these unknowns. The only way I seem to learn things is by "The school of hard knocks". I know exactly where my daughter gets her stubborness from.
So I guess you can tell my mood is not a peppy as usual. That's the truth of it. I have ups and downs. Tonight I am kind of down. Wishing I had the answers to lifes hard questions...heck I'd even like to have the answers to the easy ones...lol.
Seems like there is so much to do and not enough of me to get it all done. If I could clone myself maybe that would work. A "Me" to play with the kids. A "Me" to take care of the house. A "Me" to grow my business. And a fun "Me" would be great as well. But since cloning has not reached reality yet, I guess I will just have to find a way to work it all out.
I keep thinking that a vacation would be great. But then I know a vacation would just make it that much harder to come back to my real life.
OK OK I will stop complaining now. Maybe I should think about the things I am thankful for. That usually perks me up a little.
I am thankful for:
My kids. Each one is so wonderful and different.
My Husband who is a rock...sometimes a tumbling rock but my rock anyway.
My health.
The fact that no matter how grim it seems we always do make it.
No one evers goes hungry in my house.
The lights are on.
My new computer and internet access.
Friends that love me.
Family that is family and that never changes.
My new business and the opportunity it is giving me.
Our new house.
A playroom for the kids.
My paid for vehicle.
My hair that is growing back (like everyone said it would).
A comfortable place to lay my head at night.
My needs actually being met...that is a God thing! Big time!

Ok now I do feel better :)

Maybe I should think about the things I am thankful for earlier in my day. Maybe if I do that I will be a better Mother. I want my children to always know how much I love and adore them. Lately I am not as good at letting them know that. Since I spend 80% of my time everyday trying to stop them either bickering or tattling on each other.
My DH actually looked at me this morning and said (with a note of astonishment in his voice) You REALLY are a busy girl, aren't you? My reply was " Well, yeah! Are you just now noticing?"
I guess it just finally hit him that I get up and I don't really stop till well past midnight EVERY day. At least he noticed, right?

So potty training was a big fat flop today. BB got off to a good start this morning. He got up and peepeed on the potty. But about 15 minutes later I was cleaning stinky undies and a stinky baby. Then again at nap time it was nothing but the stinkies again...in undies of course. I promise that after Baby Girl is out of diapers I am not going to change another diaper for at least a good ten years...and then only if it is an emergency situation. By my calculations I have change aproximately 19,800 diapers in the past five and a half years. I still have at least one and a half years to go until I will see the light at the end of the tunel. Potty training is a big deal in our house.

Outside of the realm of pottys. #1 Son learned to tie his shoes this week. I mean really learned! I am so proud I think I was almost 7 years old before I could do that! Ok so, somethings were really hard for me. My left and right was not easy feat either (truthfully I still sometimes get confused now). So I am really really happy that #1 Son has picked it up so easy. He is proud that he can do "double knots" too. He recently discovered the joy of horseback riding. He now wants "cowboy" lessons in leiu of Karate or soccer.

Princess Grumpiness is giving her Daddy lessons in what it takes to make a very Grumpy little princess into a HAPPY little girl. They have been spending a lot of time together. Daddy tries to make sure she knows how special she really is. She has a touch of the middle child syndrome.

Baby Girl is growing and growing and growing. She hates food. Only likes to eat from a bottle. Weaned herself from the breast in a quick way and never looked back. She acts like you are trying to kill her if a spoon of baby food comes anywhere near her. She will however, gum down Melba toast, pretzels, toddler veggie soup. Go figure!?!? She has learned to crawl. Well, it is actually more like a scooting frog, but she gets where she is going. She still wears a Ponsetti brace on her feet for her clubbed foot. But that special little crooked foot is all straightened out now. The brace has in no way slowed her down.

BB (besides potty training) is a BIG talker. He loves to tell stories. If you don't listen to ALL the details he gets really mad. He loves to go bye bye and will try to go by himself several times a day. He still keeps me on my toes. He is the one who gets into EVERYTHING especially the things he should not.

DH is considering going back over seas again. I however (along with the children) will not go this time. Scicily is the possible destination. We won't know for a little while though. I am totally good with that as long as I can find a babysitter or a REALLY cheap (but over qualified) Nanny. :) I can dream, right?