Sunday, December 7, 2008

One day at a time...

The Christmas season is off and running. I may be lagging behind in the race but I am still in it. We put up the tree. I let the kids decorate it all by themselves (well I put hooks on ornaments and handed them to them). They are so proud. We sold two of our puppies yesterday...yay me...that means a little extra to spend on gifts. Daddy is coming home on Christmas eve. Won't the kids be excited to wake up Christmas morning to the best present ever!!!???!!! WE going to bake cookies today with the cousins. So all and all I am feeling a little more festive.

Depression is a very serious thing. I never understood that before. I used to think that people who were depressed should just "look on the bright side" or "cheer up". I never understood the dynamics of the disorder until it started to effect me. I am not sure why at the age of 32 I am suffering from a bout of clinical depression. But I am. My normal positive thinking has not helped me to shake the sadness. So I started seeing a therapist. I think I am going to use this blog (when I need to) to follow my journey through this. I know "this too shall pass". I am hopeful that I will not only find the answers I need but maybe just maybe if I am blogging about my journey I might help another woman out there who feels as alone as I do. So bear with me my friends as I start a journey to healing and hopefulness. More than anything in the world I want to get my faith back. More than anything I want to feel real true joy again. And more than anything I want to feel safe, secure and healthy. This is a roller coaster ride for me. I am up and I am down. Some times I feel like the world is spinning out of my control and I wonder will I land on my feet or my hind end. It is a scary thing. Sometimes not knowing which way is up. So I am taking it one day at a time and sometimes one moment at a time. Just knowing I am not alone helps more than anyone will ever know.

Until next time...