Monday, August 25, 2008

First day of kindergarten

#1Son started school today! After 2 years of wishing it was his turn, the day finally arrived. I thought I would be a lot more emotional. I was just so excited for him. I teared up a little right before I was ready to leave. That was only because he was a little frightened. He all of a sudden realized that he would have to stay there all day, with out Mommy or his siblings. I promised to get him at the end of the day and he was fine. So I am going to attach a few pics for everyone to see him.



On the home front, we are all doing well. DH is in Germany. He went a week ago today. It seems like it has been longer than that. I spent several days this past week so sad that it was hard to do anything. Today however, I am back on my game. I am motivated! I will accomplish something today! The larger Dunkin Doughnuts iced coffee has a lot to do with my energy level. Also the fact that I know I am Mommy and I can not keep myself in a such a state forever! So here I am trying to cope. Trying to push through the pain and fear and get it all done. I am starting to realize how my parents must have felt 25-30 years ago. When you are the Mommy you just gotta suck it up and move on. It is now my job to put things in a good light, so my kids learn to cope as well. Honestly it helps to have things to focus on. I am moving forward, today anyway.


Until next time....

Tuesday, August 19, 2008

The adventure begins...

My man left for Germany yesterday. It was a busy, hard and long day. I felt really loved though. Several of my friends and family made sure that I did not have to be alone for most of the night. It was nice to know they care. The kids are doing well (so far) with this new arrangement. I feel a lot better now that he called to tell me he is safe. The trip went well. He did not get much sleep but then again neither did I.

So the adventure begins. I have so much to do to get us all ready to go over there. the to do lists get longer everyday. I guess as things get closer they will get shorter. I hope anyway.

Today I think I am just going to focus on me and the kids. #1 Son has Kindergarten orientation tonight. He is so excited.

Well, I guess that is all I have to write about right now. So until next time...

Thursday, August 14, 2008

Women the big questions...

I am sitting here this evening, trying to recover from one of my worst days. You know, one of those days where nothing seems to go right. Well, today was that day for me. I am pondering all the changes we are going through and all the ones that came before. While standing out front this evening I was thinking about my struggles. I wonder if women are the same in any country? I look up the street and I can tell you a little something about any one of my neighbors. I am not a gossip, just to clarify. I just have befriended (on some level) just about everyone on my block. I know all the stay at home moms, the older lady across the street, of course DH's Aunt and Uncle. My closest friends are my two next door neighbors. I could not have asked for better neighbors or friends. So, anyway I thought to myself, I wonder if women are the same in every country? Will I meet other moms who struggle to keep a tidy house? Will there be a neighbor who I can be a real friend with? Will the kids race up and down the block on their bikes? Will our dreams be the same? It is kind of surreal to think about transplanting my family in to another country, another culture. I am thrilled at the opportunity. But I am terrified by the thought of yet another change! I feel like I am being totally selfish. It is hard to help my kids deal with losing their friends. On top of that it is so expensive to ship stuff over there we are having to get rid of all our stuff that is not essential! Seriously, I talked myself into thinking I was OK with this but deep down I am screaming NO!!! I am not a materialistic person at all. But for some reason I have attached sentimental value to my possessions. There are little silver linings in all of this darkness. On Sunday we had a family BBQ as a send off for my hard working husband. It was really a nice party. After the party Auntie S called me to ask me if the kids and I would stay with her and Unkie D from the 1st of October until the kids and I leave. Hopefully that will be in mid October. I was so overwhelmed. At first I said that would be too much for them, but she assured me that this is what they want to do. So, that took the edge off how I was supposed to pack the things we are taking and sell everything else. Now I can move the kids and I across the street and close my house more easily. It also solved the dilemma about #1 Son going to school. I registered him yesterday. I wrestled this one over and over again. It seemed pointless to register him for school when he is only going to be here until October. But then on the other hand I could not skip it because his little heart would be broken. School is all he has talked about for a year now. My head is spinning! There is so much to think about. I could sit here and list out all the pros and cons. But none of that really matters because we are committed to this now and there is no turning back. It is sink or swim at this point.
Back to thinking about other women. Do we all struggle so deeply and present our selves as strong, fearless and flawless? Are other women like me where it seems like things are going along smoothly and BAM!!! out of no where life shifts. When the dust settles it seems like here I am holding all together, again. See what I mean about it being a down day? I know the sun will come out tomorrow and all that jazz. But today I am gloomy and very Eeyore like.

Until next time...

Thursday, August 7, 2008

The great adventure begins...

The days are going by so quickly now. Remember being a kid and time moved so slowly? What happened? Is time really this fast or what? I miss the carefree days of being a child. I know everyone tells you not to grow up too fast. I wish I had listened. But none of that can change now. Unless I built a time machine...oh wait that can't happen either. Oh well, I will just have to suck it up and know that before I can blink my husband will be on a plane to Germany and I will be left here holding down the fort. Well, not only holding down the fort, but packing it up, growing through all our worldly possessions, sorting, storing, packing and traveling. Not to mention the fact that I will be taking an international flight with four children six years old and under! Whew!!! I am tired just thinking about it. I am not complaining though. I know this is how it has to be. I am ok with it. Really I am. I am just overwhelmed. I wonder is there an award for people who stay constantly under stress (of the unusual sort)? Maybe I will come up with one. I wonder sometimes I am the only one who has such a crazy life? Oh I love this crazy life! I wouldn't trade these opportunities for anything. It is just that it is a lot of work. Ok I think my first step is to create some lists. Yeah, that sounds good. If I list out everything I need to get done then maybe just maybe I can get it all done?!?!? I will try anyway....

Ok so I am off to make a few lists.

Stay tuned for more after the break.

Tuesday, August 5, 2008

Blocked

Well I should be cleaning my house (as usual). I am domestically challenged and a procrastinator. When I realized how long it has been since I posted, I thought to myself how did that happen? A whole month with no words from me? Well, life has gotten in the way recently. I wish I was better at writing here. Kind of like diaries though, I always have good intentions but I get distracted. Recently though I have felt like there is not too much to share.

I do have big news!!! We will be moving (yet again). This move however, will be a lot different. We will be moving to Germany for three years! That's across an ocean! I could blog about my fears, anxieties, excitement, and just plain feelings of being overwhelmed. Not sure if that would be good reading though. DH has been given a GREAT opportunity to back on contract. I am excited that we will get to show our children the world! At the same time though I am terrified! It all seems like too much. #1son will be starting school in a few weeks and sometime during Kindergarten he will have to move to another country! That is not exactly what I had in mind for this year. I have prayed about it a lot. I know that this is what God has planned for our family. Things are working out too well for any other thought to take hold. This is such a great thing for us. But it also means packing (again), flying with four kids trans continental, saying good bye to too many friends and family members, getting better at blogging so I can stay in touch....and the list goes on and on...

For now I am just trying to tackle one step at a time. Depending on God for direction.

There will be more blogging about this I am sure...

Until next time...