Tuesday, July 24, 2007

I am back! Well sort of.....my company has gone home..taking #1son with them, Weewee is at her Grammie's and Bigoo and Princess Fairheart are here with me. I have had an EXTREMELY busy couple of weeks. I am so tired out that I am not sure when I will be back to normal. I think maybe too many people being around has made me want to be all alone. But I know my readers are wondering if I am alive. I am barely. I have so much I need to write but am overwhelmed at the thought. The stress is getting to me now too because the baby doesn't seem to be getting enough milk from nursing. I cried for half an hour last night when I went ahead and made her a bottle of formula. Darn it I really want to nurse her for longer but for some reason my milk supply seems to be dwindling. Dh and I are arguing a lot. Stress is too much some days. Could it be the baby blues? Or something else. Maybe it is that I am 31 now and feel trapped in this crazy life. I almost feel guilty writing that down. But I just need to let it out or I might explode. I feel like I am not very good at being a mom. I wish I was more patient and kind and easy going. Right now I am none of those things. Hopefully in a few days after I get back in my regular routine....

On a positive note, we had an awesome visit with my parents and sisters. It was crazy having 4 extra people in my house for 2 and 1/2 weeks. But it was so nice for them to be here with the kids.

Anyway I will be trying to post again soon.

Sorry this is not the happiest of posts.

3 comments:

Unknown said...

Thank Goodness you are back !!! I was wondering where you were and starting to get worried.I'm sorry you are feeling so stressed out.I'm not too surprised your milk is drying up a bit if you are under stress. Hopefully things will calm down and you will get back to normal. Don't worry! And please don't feel guilty about hating all this sometimes. We all do, and if you can't write it down here then you will explode, which will be very messy indeed. And more for you to clean up, because, lets face it nobody else will !!! Maybe you and I should just fly away to a tropical island and lie in the sun, by a pool with a cold beer and a good book ?!! Or I could just go and finish my laundry. Ug. Take care, welcome back, and don't worry lovely girl !! S

FarmWife said...

Glad you're back! 2 1/2 weeks with house guests & 4 kids!! Yikes! My mom has been here since Father's day weekend, but she's staying at my Grandmother's where she has her own room...no wonder you're stressed.

Don't feel bad about the formula (yeah, I know, easier said than done). My G'ma had a stroke when #1 Son was a baby & the stress made my milk supply dwindle & I ended up having to wean him early. It was tough (He's the one I nursed the least amount of time), but he did just fine.

How's the baby doing after her surgery?

Lauren said...

Welcome back!! I've missed you!

I know it's easier said than done, but try not to worry too much, even if you do have to supplement. Have you ever read "The Nursing Mother's Companion"? Someone loaned it to me and it helped me get my supply back up by pumping. If I hadn't done that, we would not have made it to 12 weeks. I think I sent myself into PPD partially by worrying so much about making the nursing work. That was scary. If/when we have another, if we have the same difficulties, I'm not sure if I will try as hard as I did if it means feeling like I should be in an institution again.