On the run again

O I know it has been awhile since I have posted anything....it's just that life is way to chaotic for me these days. We are living at my husband's mother's house with 8 other people (not including our 4 children). My husband lost his job about 3 days after moving down here. He is currently (was before he lost his job) looking for a new job. The one job he thought was a "sure" thing has not panned out yet. Needless to say we are having a hard time right now. We are both edgy and irritable with each other. Not to mention the little ones who are in constant need of something. As I type I have a 3 year old standing next to me whining about why her Daddy won't take her bye bye with him. UGH!!!! No peace for me these days. This whole situation is doing nothing to help the feelings of depression I was facing before all these new events came upon us.
I am going to go home to Tennessee for a little while. I really only want it to be a for a visit. But I know if my Mom has it her way I will relocate there by myself (with the kids of course). She swears that she does not want to see my marriage end or that she will not encourage that at all. But I know for certain that once I go down there I will be pressured into staying and starting over with out him. I do not want to get divorced (not yet at least) I don't think it is right to break a promise just because things are getting hard. Why did I even call home to talk to my mom in the midst of my sorrow? One good thing about going down there is that I will get to pick up #1Son (who thinks he will be extending his vacation with Nana and Granddad indefinitely). I miss him so much. He has been down south since July 21st. It is time for me to get my son back.

I know this post must sound desperate. It is not. I really just wanted to update those who read my blog. Kind of an explanation of why I have not been posting. I just have not had enough emotional energy to post lately. Not to mention no private time to think. I thought long and hard about whether or not post this. It seems too public a setting to post such a private battle. But in the end I decided it was better to be honest than to not say anything at all.
So those of you who pray, please remember us.

Hope to be back to normal soon.

I am leaving for TN tomorrow and won't be back for a couple of weeks. I will be able to use a computer while there but I don't know how often.

Talk to you all soon.