Perspective

Perspective is reality or at least that is what is seems. Maybe the saying goes your perspective is your reality. In my new found desire to stay positive it is more difficult today than at any other time. Maybe because negativity has become such a habit. r maybe just this once the reality is that I am hurt and feel used. I had a friend or at least someone I was a friend to that has used me and made me question myself and my ability to judge people's character. Some things never change. It seems as though I always find a way to make friends with people who do not hold themselves to the same standard as me. Maybe this is what the Bible truly means about being unequally yoked. I am trying to figure out how so many other people I know are able to see people for what they truly are. Is this because of some internal monitoring system that they are born with? Or is a learned skilled because they too have been hurt enough to recognize flaws in other before they are hurt? I wish with all my heart that I could see these kind of things coming before they catch me off guard. How do you learn something like that? If it is life's experiences that teach you then how come I am so dumb in this area? Is an internal need to be liked? Is it just stupidity? I seem to repeat the same patterns over and over again. I am not saying that ALL my friends have turned out to be users or that all my friends have hurt me. But when it does happen I am always shocked and confused. DH tells me all the time that other people do not care about anyone but themselves. And where I think that is a very negative way to view people, it seems he may just be right. Or at least in 50% of the cases he is close to right. So what do I do? Stop caring about people? That is like asking me to change who I am. How do I learn to care but keep myself safe? I know these are all questions that have no exact answers and that seems to compound my problem. Am I destined to repeat the same events time and again until I learn to recognize the character flaws of others? Or do I just decided that being alone is better than associating with those who would hurt me again and again? Of course these are all deeply personal issues and I probably should not put all this out on the internet for everyone to know. But I am hoping that I am not the only person that this keeps happening to. Maybe I am not the one with problem. DH tells me that this is not my fault and that whoever blames me has problems of their own. My question is do people who exhibit these patterns actually seek out people who they view as easy targets or is it more innocent than all of that? I know this is not the most uplifting post I have ever written but I want to be honest about where I am today. Maybe all of this is God's way of getting me to get on my knees and seek Him. It's worth a try. I have nothing else to loose. So maybe in my rambling I have found the answer I needed to know today. I will try once again to take my concerns to God. I know sound skeptical. Please don't judge me for that. I am where I am in my walk and maybe I need to just step out of my comfort zone (which is not very comfortable today anyway) and get back to what I know.

My perspective can change I think but does that mean the reality was not what I thought all along?

Until next time I will humble myself and see where that gets me in this journey...