Why is it that as a mom my day never seems to go as planned? I planned on being home all day today and cleaning and relaxing with out having to drag 4 kids around with me. But then Sear's called and said our dehumidifier is done being repaired and now I have to go into Wilmington, yet again! I could wait until Monday to pick it up by my DH is chomping at the bit to get it back in the basement. Our basement is very damp and is starting to cause us insect problems. UGH!!! I just wanted to be at home. Oh well, such is life, I guess.

Our visit with Aunt Carrie and Nannie Pants was wonderful (as usual). The kids are so funny together. Nannie Pants always has a hard time falling asleep at night when she is visiting, but last night went a lot better (for Carrie at least). Because Uncle C (my DH) had the "daddy" talk with her. You know the guy with the deep voice and scary 6' 3" frame can make anyone go to bed...lol Nannie Pants loves to manipulate her mommy. Don't all 3 year olds?!??!? Princess Grumpiness and Nannie pants took a bath last night and I wish I had thought to snap a few "blackmail" pictures of them, for when they are older. LOL they were way to cute. The whole bathroom got soaked but it was worth it for them to have a good time. After their bath Nannie Pants came into the living room and declared "we have jammies and panties on!" as she was lifting her night gown to show us all. Nannie Pants informed us that she LOVES #1Son, LOVES HIM, LOVES HIM!! When Carrie asked her if she loves Princess Grumpiness her answer was "I LOVE PG but she is grumpy!!" She still has a hard time with BB. We all think she still doesn't like that he came in and stole her babyhood last summer. Jealousy is a wicked wicked thing you know. She still refuses to give him any love. And he loves her so much. I think she will grow out of it though.
Another funny conversation with Nannie Pants went something like this: "Aunt J why does the baby eat from your boobie?" "Well sweetie, when you are a mommy you get milk in you boobies to feed your baby. Your Mommy fed you like that too when you were a tiny baby." "Yeah I know" "So are you a milker feeder baby?" I said "well, yes something like that?" She was satisfied with that answer. It is so funny how kids word things. Later on she was telling my kids that their Mommy is a milker feeder baby.
Aunt Carrie and Nannie Pants just got home from vacation. They brought us some pictures when my kids saw the picture of Nannie Pants with Mickey Mouse, #1Son was excited and wanted to know when we would be going to see Mickey Mouse. I told him that Nannie Pants got to see Mickey because her Mommom and Poppop live right near Mickey. You should have seen how big his eyes got. He thought that was awesome to have Grandparents that lived near Disney. We are hoping to be able to take the kids to Disney in a year or so.

So, we had a great visit with them. It so nice to have these times with our family.

Speaking of family, my parents will be here soon! It has been almost a year since they seen the kids (in person). They will be here for the 4th of July. We will probably spend it down in Delaware with Carrie's family. I am so excited! I have missed my mom, dad, and sisters. My kids are going to love spending time with their Aunts. The girls are always so good with my kids. I am waiting to hear from Mom as to what day they will be arriving. They are visiting family in Michigan right now and then I think sometime in the next day or two they will be heading our way.

Anyway, this is the most blogging I have gotten done recently....I better run now.

Before I go though would you all pray for my friend Paula. Her MIL is suffering with cancer and has been given only days to live. Paula is devastated because her MIL lives with her and they are very close. So, please keep her in your prayers as she goes through this terrible time of loss in her family.

Princess Fairheart's surgery went awesome. The procedure was quick and went perfectly. And she had no trouble at all with waking up from the anestisia. I am super worn out, from all the trips to Wilimington and running around this week. So today we are staying at home. Aunt Carrie and Nannie Pants are coming up to spend the night and play with the kids. They have been gone on vacation for a little while and we have missed them a bunch! My parents will be coming for a visit next week. I am not sure exactly when they will be here but I know the kids will be so excited when they do get here.

I have to get off this electronic addiction before my company arrives and they see how I really live......the house is trashed and the kids are still in their PJs. At least the baby is fed....but we are coming up on lunch time and well you guessed it I have no idea what I am going to feed them. I really need a kick in the pants to get me started. Or just a nanny and maid combo....that would be so nice, but since that is not my reality...I gotta go.

Well, Princess Fairheart and I are off today for her surgery. We will be staying overnight tonight at the hospital just as a precaution. Since she is so little and will be under general anesthesia. Please say a prayer for us. I promise a full update tomorrow afternoon when we get back home.

Today is a new day...

I woke up refreshed and in a pretty decent mood. That was shattered for a brief moment when Princess Grumpiness decided to greet me with her usual whining "caaaaaaannnnnn yoooooouuuu tuuuurrrnnn on cartooooooooooooooooons mommyyyyyyyyyyy, I can't do itttttttttt" Ugh!!!
Oh well I can not let that ruin my day. I am much more optimistic today about BG's foot! I have peace that I will know what decsion to make at the appropriate times.

I have so much to do today. Just like every other day. There is the housework that may or may not get accomplished. When did I go from super organized to totally messy? Hmmm that had to be an evolution of mommyhood. Oh to ponder the evolution of mommyhood...there is not enough time in my day to do that.

Here is an ephany I had recently, I want to live on a farm. Ok if you know me well then you must be thinking "that girl has lost her mind!!!!". Nope it's not lost, maybe dazed and confused but not lost. It's just that we have so many kids now (not to mention our pets) and it is so expensive to feed them all. I want to grow our own veggies and possibily a cow, chickens, goats (to cut the lawn hehehe) and maybe even a horse or two. I know this is down the road for us but it would be wonderful to have a few acres (10-20) to raise our children on. THis has been DH's dream for years and now I have finally caught the bug as well. So this is my new gaol/prayer.

OK seriously now I have to start my house work before there is a revolt and my family moves out.....hmmmmm......now there is a thought......nope it won't work.

Oh how ADHD am I today? I can not stay focused.....

I am so tired. This has been a rough couple of days for me. Yesterday BG's Dr called and wanted to change her surgery date from July 18th to this coming Wednesday!!! It was a blur talking to them and getting the appointments set up. This past monday she got a new cast and has been very unhappy since. I am starting to have concerns about the treatment she is getting. I have started to research the treatments that are availabel for clubbed feet. That is overwhelming. I out every 1000 babies is born with clubbed feet yet, there are very few doctors out there that know how to treat them. I thought the because we had a good referral from our pediatrician, that we would be getting the best treatment possible. I found out tonight, through a support group that I joined, that the Dr BG sees has a bad rep for actually making clubbed feet worse! Of course after reading through about 100 pages of complaints, I relized that really only 2 people ever posted anything bad about Dr. Jay. Maybe they just had a louder voice than anyone else. Anyway, I am trying to formulate a plan so that I can be sure she is getting the best treatment possible.
This is all so exhausting. I still have the other 3 children to take care of and it seems I am at the Dr's every other day with BG. I am starting to become really overwhelmed. DH is not that much help. He cannot understand why I am obsessing about this. I think my mom is getting a little tired of me talking about it too...maybe you all (my handful of readers) are tired of it too......or maybe I am just tired and rambling on and on because it is 1:30 am!
I have to decide before next Wednesday whether or not I am going to let this Dr Jay do surgery or not.
Please pray for me and BG (and the rest of my family) that we will find the direction we need and that I will make the right decisions for her long term health and well being.

I am tired so that is all I can manage to write tonight. I have a lot more to say but my typing is getting bad and my eyes are heavy....so good night all.

Yesterday

Was the hardest day yet, with BG's casts. She had another one put on this is the first time she cried so much. Usually she cries a lot while they are casting her but she gets over it rather quickly. Not yesterday! She ended up crying her self to exhaustion at least 3 times. She was so upset it was hard for her to nurse (couldn't latch on because of being upset) which made her more upset b/c she was hungry. I had to go down MIL's house to pick up the kids and I ended up coming home after only about an hour. I had planned on staying and helping her with a home improvement project. But that was impossible. I called BG's doc twice because she was so upset. And seemed to be in pain. They said if she is not adjusted to the cast by today then they wanted her to come back in. She is still fussy today but not as bad. I know this might sound bad but I am too tired to take her all the way down there. The hospital is an hour away.
I am having a hard time these days with #1Son and his attitude. I am wondering if he is going to make it to his next birthday. I swear some days he is like 4 going on 24! He thinks he can boss anyone (including me) and he is talking ugly to his sister all the time. They both fight about EVERYTHING! Some days it makes me want to pull my hair out! I mean I never thought that being a mom would mean I would be refereeing all day. I watched a show the other day (Supernanny) and I am trying to remember to be more consistent and also I got a time out chair and now am trying that approach. It seems to work so far. It is just exhausting. Each of my kids is at just a enough of a different developmental stage that it is a little crazy. The only one I have a hard time with (as far as not knowing what to expect) is my oldest because I have never been a mom to a four and 1/2 year old before. The others at least I have some experiences in their age range.
Hubby and I have made our peace and are doing better again...for today anyways. I wish I had something funny to say today but as sleep deprived as I am there is not too much I can say.
Maybe later on......

A better day

Today was a much better day for me. I woke up early with the kids and we made their Daddy breakfast in bed. And then they gave him his T-shirt. He loved it. He had forgotten that it was father's day...lol...he is so cute. Things are better between us. I woke up today and decided no matter how crazy I feel I am not going to ruin his father's day. We had a couple of moments before lunch but deep breaths and better communication got us through.We took the kids to the park for a picnic lunch. Then we headed down to his mom's house. I am glad he decided to make the trip with us. It turned out to be a great day for us. We left the kids with his mom until tomorrow. BG has an early appointment tomorrow with the orthopedic for a cast change. So I did not want to hassle with all the kids at 5:30am. My MIL is great she loves to have the kids down there. And DH and I really needed a break. So I have another busy day tomorrow. Children's hospital early in the morning and then down to my MIL's house to take DH's grandfather to the VA Hospital for his check up, then back to MIL's house to get my kids, then help MIL rearrange some living space for herself, then home hopefully dinner and maybe get the kids to VBS. I am hoping to be home in time for VBS. The church across from us is having VBS this week. I am hoping that we meet some people and make new friends.
So, I guess I need to get to bed. Well actually nurse the baby and then to bed.

Oh thanks Zann and Sara! Your encouragement made me feel a lot better. Sara you made me laugh out loud. :) I am glad to know that I am not alone.

Good night.....sleep tight

What the heck!?!?

OK so I started the day out feeling pretty good. I was stilling feeling the pride from yesterday's accomplishments. And then it all went down hill from there. So, I am wondering is this funky,blahs, ugliness hormones or something all together different. I am usually such a positive person. At least I thought I was but recently I can find more and more things to complain about. One minute I feel totally fed up. I just want to throw in the towel and say to heck with this crap! Then I get over it and feel great again. Sounds like mood swings huh? The problem is I think most of the things I am upset about are founded. It is not like I am just making them up. Hubby and I have been more than bickering today. I am totally emotionally drained. Same thing happened the other day we had a big fight. Only I don't think I really got over it. So I think today when he started getting on to me about the kids not cleaning up their toys in the yard, I just lost it. It's not like I don't do a million things everyday!!! Seriously I was just so Happy that I cleaned the house. Oh by the way he informed me today that he does not care how messy the house gets he cares more about how the outside looks. OMG!! I was so mad. Half the time I can not even get outside to play with the 2 older ones so how am I supposed to clean up the toys they take out there. He acts like all I do is sit around on my butt and do nothing! I am so tired of fighting about stupid stuff! I mean seriously I am starting to wonder why we are even in this marriage?!?! I know that sounds extreme but I think I might have married a 2 year old. When I came home from the grocery store today (I was only gone about an hour and a half). He needed to go take a nap! He got up 2 hours later than me today and he only had 2 of the kids to take care of for an hour and a half! I was so mad. So I had to take care of 4 kids, nurse the baby, cook dinner, put away all the groceries and all the while he was sleeping. Then he got up long enough to eat dinner. IN his defense he did put dinner away while I rocked the baby. But then again I had not even made myself a plate yet! So I had to dig it all back out when the baby fell asleep. Now, I would not be so upset if he had not went right back to bed! What the heck! Seriously I had to get the other kids ready for bed, feed myself, and all the other stuff that goes with late evening in our home. I am so mad. He is sleeping and I am still going! I don't get the opportunity to sleep whenever I want to! Darn it I don't even get to sleep through the night.
OK so I know it sounds like it is all his fault and Oh how I would love to lead you to believe that but I have to be honest. I have felt like being in a bad mood lately. I am frustrated by things (like money, materialistic things, comparing us to others etc...) that I never let mother me any other time. I am also so moody! What is up with this one minute I am crying the next I am angry and the next I can be the happiest person in the world? It is enough to make a girl feel crazy! I am sure my hubby does not know if he is coming or going these days. I can see him trying to help out more and I try to tell him thank you but then he goes and makes me mad so it seems to him like all his hard work is for nothing. I am wondering if I am the only one that ever feels like this. I am in need of encouragement. I am so lonely these days and so confused. I really hope this is just the baby blues and not something more serious.

OK I am tired of complaining. So I will end this rant for now.

Whew my house is livable again.....

Well my list of things I got done today is longer now...

More laundry done (2 more loads folded waiting to be put away)

Living room cleaned, vacuumed and TV screen and windows cleaned!

Dining room cleaned, swept and mopped.

Kitchen cleaned, swept and mopped.

I am actually going to let you all see some before and after pics.....I am so proud of getting the house back in order! It may not be Tuesday but I sure have tackled it today!!!!!

OK i am a novice at this picture posting thing but i am sure you can figure out the before and after.

My surprise

I needed a pick me up yesterday. My hubby worked really late and did not get home till around 9:30pm with this suprise in tow. I think maybe this is why I feel a lot better today! Just when I think my guy is too much trouble he goes and does the sweetest things! I just wanted to share my joy!

Moody mommy

Well for the last couple of days I have not blogged mostly because I did not have anything nice to say.....I know that is terrible but it was true. I had a bad attitude about everything. Call it the baby blues or just being plain ol' fed up. I don't know but today seems better. I am actually getting somethings accomplished.
So here is my list of things I got done so far:
1. Put away the clean laundry (about 6 loads)
2. Gathered all the dirty clothes up from every room, hamper, under beds etc...(now I have about 6 more loads to do)
3. Sorted laundry
4. Cleaned my bathroom (this was the hardest job so far)
5. Helped Wee wee clean her room
More to come later on....believe me there is way more to get done around here. I am just so glad to be out of my blah mood. Now back to work for me.....

Maybe I will be able to write this post without interruption. The kids are tucked in bed. The baby is fed and Hubby is working in the garage.

Today was so busy. I got up at 5:20 am!! That is way to early for any sane person! But I had so much to do today that I knew I needed a few minutes this morning to get myself ready. So I got up started the coffee, folded some laundry, pack hubby's lunch, got snacks ready for the kids. Set, up the breakfast table, woke the children up and started our day. I was so glad that the kids woke up on the "happy" side of the bed. We took Daddy to work and then came home and ate breakfast and then headed to Children's hospital for Princess Fair Heart's appointments. I was so relieved to see my MIL in the waiting area. She is such a life saver!!! I would have never made it through my day today without her. The kids are always so glad to see Grammy. She makes everything so fun for them. And thank God that the weather cooperated so they were able to play on the playground while I was taking care of the appointments.

So, Princess Fair Heart had an ultra sound on her hip. It turns out she does have some problem with her hip but Dr. Jay wants to wait 3 weeks for another ultrasound before he decides what her treatment will be. We will just have to wait and see on that one. I am relieved that it is not serious enough right now to warrant any intervention. Goodness knows I have enough on my plate as it is. We had to go to the cast room and have a new cast put on today. She really did not like any part of that process. The saw scared her a lot. Then she was relieved to have the old cast off. They cleaned her leg and they we took her to get weighed. Her pediatrician was concerned about her weight since she is nursed and so I asked them to weigh her so I could report that back to the ped so he would relax about me nursing her. Anyway she weighs a whopping 9lbs 9oz!! That is with out the cast! She had her cast off for about 30-45min. So when Dr. Jay had to manipulate her foot she got really upset. She cried so hard that she was turning purple. I hate that part of the whole process. It is so odd to like a doctor so much who tortures your baby! Dr. Jay is great but I hate the my baby has to go through this. After we got a new cast on I had to go schedule her surgery. We are not 100% positive she will need the surgery yet but Dr. Jay wanted to make sure we had a date reserved. We will know for positive in 2 weeks. If she needs surgery it will be done on July 18th. After that I had to go get her paper work started for her special shoes. Apparently it will take our insurance company at least 2 months to approve this medically necessary device! How crazy is that? In a couple of weeks she will have molds made of her feet for these special shoes. She will have to wear the shoes and brace for 23 hours a day until she starts to crawl. Then she will get to wear them only at night. This will go on for no less than 12 months. After that we all went to lunch. The other kids were glad to get to go to McDonald's. My MIL and I got to catch up on things a little while the kids were eating. Then it was back to the hospital for BG's surgical consultation regarding her umbilical hernia. What a relief that appointment was!! No surgery is needed right now! We will go back in 6 months for a recheck. We have instructions on what to watch for. Barring any emergencies she will not need an operation until she is between 3 and 5 years old. But more than likely it will heal it's self before then. Thank God! So all in all we had all good reports today. I am so thankful for that.

We had a few errands to run so no one got a good nap. Naps in the car just don't cut it for my crew. So by the time we got home and had dinner, they were so tired all they were doing is torturing each other. So it was early bed time. And that is where I am headed as well. I still need a little rest during the daytime in order to make it to the news at 11pm....that's not happening tonight.

So good night all and I hope you all had blessed days as well.

Just another day in Paradise

It seems I have spent most of the day in my PJ's playing on the computer and refereeing my children. At some point I will have to get it together and go to the store. But I am procrastinating on that one.

I did finally get my house cleaned yesterday!!! Ok so the bathrooms are still on the list but that's not to bad for a days work. I wanted to post pics because it is so rare that the house looks good. But before I could get to taking a couple of pics my little one destroyed the living room again!! Oh well you will just have to trust me on this one:)



Hubby and I got to go out last night sans children. We did bring squeaky with us only because I am nursing and can not leave her yet. We went to dinner to celebrate our anniversary (it was last week). We went to a nice restaurant in town. It was recommended to us by our neighbor. The funny thing is I have seen this restaurant several times and would have never stopped in because it has a hot dog on the sign so I assumed it was a hot dog place. Well it sort of is but it is also has a great regular menu. We enjoy our grown up time together. Not having to rush through a meal because others need me was such a luxury.

OK gotta run for a awhile it's time to go to the store.....I will finish this when I get back home.

Well my trip to Walmart (which by the way is only 1/4 mile from my drive way) took 3 hours!!! Yes, I said 3 hours! I took Squeaky and #1Son with me. The shopping part only took me a little over an hour. The standing in line and getting rung up took the rest of the time. I was almost finished shopping when an announcement came over the speaker that said "if you have 20 items or less you can be checked out in jewelry or electronics. If you have groceries or produce to be weighed go to lawn and garden none of the front registers are working at this time." Well I was still shopping so I figured they would probably have the problem solved by the time I got in line. Well that did not happen. When I got in line it was backed up from Lawn and Garden all the way to the Pharmacy. As soon as there were 2 others in front of me and it was almost my turn they announced that we could go get in line at the front now. Well I did not want to race anyone to another line so I opted to stay put. When I got to my turn at the register it was broken! The scanner did not scan so they had to manually enter the bar codes for my stuff. Now if I had 20 items or less that would not have been a big deal but I had nearly $200 worth of stuff. So just as the gal was finishing up Squeaky woke up starving, I was starving #1Son was starving and tired. By the time I loaded the van, drove home, got Hubby to help unload, fed Squeaky, fed the other children, it was 9:30 and they still needed baths and bed. Tomorrow morning is going to be awful. We have to get up at 6am to take hubby to work. Come home get breakfast and clothes on. Drive to Wilmington (1 hour 20min) to go to Squeaky's 3 appointments. Hopefully my mother in law will remember and meet me up there or I am so screwed. Because I will have all 4 children at the hospital for most of the day. Squeaky has an appointment at 9, 10:30 and 1:30.
Ugh!! And I still need to feed myself and get every one's clothes out for the morning! Why am I sitting here blogging?!?!? Well it seemed sane when I started.....now I am thinking I got too much to do.
Oh well, if you read this say a prayer for me that I will have peace in my day tomorrow. I am off to gather clothing for my children and myself and then off to bed I need to go. Hopefully I will be rested in the morning.

OK so my happiness last all of 3 hours and then the blahs set in. I tried to clean the house that lasted a few minutes and then Squeaky started squeaking, Biggoo was into everything as usual so I put him down for an early nap. Hubby came home for lunch, talking too loud and woke him up. So Biggoo had a long enough nap to not be tired anymore but still be grumpy and whiny for the rest of the day. Squeaky thought she wanted to nurse but kept falling asleep. As soon as I would put her down she would wake right up. So I resorted to holding her. I talked to Momma on the phone for way to long. So I got more stressed out. It was so hot here today 93 degrees. So my air conditioning could not keep up. Not to mention #1Son decided to turn the main unit off and it took me awhile to figure out why it was so hot in the house.
The best thing was when Daddy came back home from work he brought a brand new slip and slide for the little monsters to play on. They all had a blast for the last 2 hours until dinner. I took a bunch of pictures. Still holding Squeaky.... is this really going to be my life from now on? I can not stand to let her cry because of her hernia. I am afraid it will make it worse. Since the doc said it is growing. I am tired. And sad. Why am I so sad? Maybe it is my hormones. I think Hubby is scared because he is hiding in his garage. This is his m.o. when I am hormonal. I can not wait to have my body back and my mind back. I am not so sure I will ever get my mind back though. Oh well! So much for sanity.
Oh by the way I think I am breaking my own rules, I grounded myself from blogging until my work was finished. Well, work is still not finished but here I am blogging. No wonder my kids never listen to me I am a big push over.
Maybe tomorrow I will get something done. Maybe not we will see.
OK I am rambling on and on.....
so I will go for now....

Good morning all! I hope this morning finds you in good spirits! For some reason I have awakened on the "happy" side of the bed. Maybe that is because I went to sleep with a migraine and woke up with it gone!!! That is always a great thing.

I know today is Friday but I think I am going to call it Tackle it Friday...lol I am going to finally try to finish the chores I started on Tuesday. Where did this week go? I feel like it all got away from me.
My chore list today:
Clean living room
Organize toy room
Laundry
Clean bathrooms

OK maybe I should not aim so high. I will try to get to all of this. I am getting up from this computer and going to clean. I think I am going to take a lesson from Lauren and ground myself from blogging until I get some of my chores done! It is impossible to get anything done when I am lost in cyberspace.

So I will post again much later on....:)

Life is like a roller coaster....

Some days I just don't know how I will get the strength to make it through each hour and then other days fly by in a blaze of glory and I wonder where did the day go. Today is a day like the latter, thanks goodness. God knows I really needed an easier day. Hubby surprised me today and took the whole day off. What a blessing, OK so there were moments when he got on my nerves, but all in all it was nice to spend the day with him. We all piled in our van and went to Allentown (70 miles) to a garden store he wanted to check out. It was a nice drive. The kids seemed to enjoy themselves and there was very little fighting or arguing. The long drive helped me to get out and clear my head. I need to just escape my house sometimes. And since I was not driving I got to just look out the window and think about what ever I wanted to. The drive up to Allentown is a very scenic country drive. It was funny on the way up there Wee wee was the only one awake and so she was chattering about whatever silly thing came to mind. One moment she was worried about Nemo getting sucked into a pipe. the next she was singing me her "booger booger" song, giggly contagiously at her grossness. It was so fun to listen to her talk about the things that she was thinking of. During one conversation she informed me that when she watched "Fox and the Hound" Chief broke his leg. She was upset about that because she said his master broke his leg. I think it has been months since she saw that movie. It is funny what will stick in her mind and come out on a long car ride. We all just had such a nice time being together.

*Rant coming up*
OK the only bad part about the trip was stopping for lunch. We stopped at Burger King. Wee wee had to go potty so I took her in and decided to order lunch to go. It took over 15 minutes just to place my order. Usually I have a lot of patience with people who work in fast food restaurants (mostly because I have been there) but today!!! OMG!!! The woman who took my order her name badge said "3 Years of Service". So how come it took her 15 minutes to ring up 3 kids meals with cheese burgers and Icees to drink, a whopper jr meal and a whopper with cheese no pickle!!! My gosh all they have to do is look at pictures! there is no reading involved! I thought I would scream before she got my order done. Then to top it off I get out to the car and some of our food was missing!! How hard is it people!! Seriously if she was a trainee I might not be so mad but according to her name badge she has 3 YEARS on this job!!! OK if you can not learn to take an order in 3 years time then maybe you should think about getting another job!

*OK Ranting done now*

OK sorry I just had to get that off my chest, I feel better now.

It is so hot here today! I just looked over and my 4 year old is wearing only a t-shirt and boxers. I asked him where his pants are he replied "I was hot in them" Maybe I need to turn on the air....no it will cool off in an hour or so and I will get too cold. Lately it is really hot in the daytime and really cool at night. I wish we had central air but this house only has window units so it is hard to regulate the temp. Another of our many reasons for looking for a different house to move into. But I will think about all of that tomorrow. Today I am just too tired.

OK I better stop writing before my few readers get so bored they fall asleep in their chairs.

Struggles

Yesterday was a hard day. Nothing in particular and yet everything all at once was overwhelming to me. I took BG to the pediatrician. Apparently she was going in for a weight check. But she has a cast on her leg and they can not tell how much she weighs for sure. So then since I am nursing her I had to answer a million questions about she is feeding. According to the doc it is not good that she sleeps for about 6 hours at a time sometimes. As a mom of 4 I thought it was great. The bad news from her visit is that now she has to see a General Pediatric Surgeon. She has an umbilical hernia. We have know that since she was born. But it is growing and that is a concern. So now when we go to the children's hospital on Monday for her ortho visit we will be seeing a surgeon as well. I know I should not complain. I know her medical challenges could be a lot worse. But I feel so helpless and scared. She is the first baby I have had that has any issues (medically) at all. This is overwhelming to me. Then you add on the fact that my other children must have been abducted by body snatchers and replaced with needy, whiny, naughty children. It seems like lately all I do is yell at them. #1Son has always been such a joy until just recently he has started acting like a teenager. He argues with me about everything. He even argues with his Daddy now. Nothing I do is good enough for him. I used to be able to take him out in public and get comments on how well behaved he was. Now it seems like he is on a mission to act naughty in public. I swear he is testing me to see if I will just completely lose it in front of other people. I don't know if this is normal for four year olds to turn into crazy people?? Then there is Biggoo......oh my goodness that child is so busy!!! Yesterday I was trying to clean my house. Every time I got into a groove BG would start to cry so I would have to stop to comfort her (ever since the cast was put on she has been really fussy) as soon as I would sit down to take care of her, Biggoo would go to where ever I had been cleaning up and totally mess that area back up. He took a whole bag of papers and threw it all over the living room. He kept getting into my cleaning cabinet. He kept taking stuff off my dresser. I felt like I was fighting a losing battle. By the time dinner time came around I was so tired I ordered pizza. Then I called my mom and cried to her about how hard my day was. Then my darling husband got jealous that I was talking to my mom and not him!!! WHAT!?! Usually when I try to talk to him about my frustrations he just tries to fix it and not really listen and if I do not take his advice he gets offended....I just wanted to talk to my mom since she has been there before. So, after I had my cry with her I had to go try to explain to him why I needed to talk to her about how I was feeling. So by the time my head hit the pillow last night I was totally physically and emotionally exhausted!
Today I just want to sit and rest. I want to try not to worry about what the doc will say on Monday. I want to reconnect with my children, maybe I will find that they have not been body snatched after all. I sure hope that is the case.
Sometimes I just do not feel like there is enough of me to go around. I try to pray for the strength and wisdom to be the best mom I can be but I am not so sure I am getting the response I need. I feel like I am walking through the fire again. It is hard not to wonder if we have too many children now. I know I should not admit that out loud. At the same time I KNOW that God gave us each of these children and that all gifts from God are good. So.....where does that leave me? Humbled. Yes very humbled. I need to get my attitude in check before it all gets away from me.
So off I go to reconnect and redirect my attitude...........wish me luck!

Well Baby girls' appointment yesterday went really well. She has a cast on her leg from her hip to her toes. That was basically the worst of it. It was really aweful when they had to put the cast on her because they had to stretch her foot into a position that is not comfortable for her. She was crying so hard that for about 15 minutes afterward her little body was racked with sobs. It broke my heart. I hate the feeling that there is nothing I can do to comfort one of my children. She spent most of yesterday being held. This did not allow for me to get very much done but I had to comfort her. She was very uncomfortable adjusting to this cast on her leg. I think it is a little better today. We will have to return to the hospital every week to get a new cast. They think at this point this will go on for at least two months. Once her foot is positioned the way they want it to be then they will put her in these special shoes that have a bar between them. She will have to wear the shoes 23 hours a day until she shows an interest in crawling then we will be able to take them off to let her crawl around. This is going to be a very long process. I hope the worst is over. It is very awkward trying to nurse her with this big ol' cast on her leg but we are doing the best we can. I hate to complain about any of it because I know it could be a lot worse than it is.
One funny thing about yesterday, on our way to the hospital Wee wee asked "Mommy, why does BG need to go to the hospital? Is she sick?" I said "No, sweety she has a special crooked foot and the doctors need to look at it and decide how to fix it." Wee wee replied in a typical preschooler emphatic way "NO SHE DOES NOT!!!! SHE is perfect and beautiful!!!" I told her she was right BG is perfect and beautiful but she does have a crooked foot that needs to be fixed. Well, I guess #1Son (who is usually very nosey) missed that whole conversation because when I brought BG out from her casting #1Son noticed the cast and said "Ahh how how did BG get a big giant booboo!?!?!" He said this in his most accusatory voice. I explained again that BG has a crooked foot and that the doctors put a cast on it to help fix it. He also said that he was sure she did not because she is beautiful! And is just like him when he was a baby! I thought it was so neat that my kids never ever noticed that their baby sister had a deformed foot. They have never asked about it once and yesterday was proof they never even noticed it. Is that just like God? I mean he know we have flaws but he looks past them and only sees how worthy we are of his love! Wow!!!! Kids sure do teach you a lot! I hope I can remember to not even notice flaws in others!

Ok well today will be another busy day....hmm i wonder if there will ever be a lazy day again?
We have to go to the pediatrician again. I wish they made house calls. BG needs a check up and I have to request Biggoo's records to be sent to our new Pediatrician. He needs shots again. Ugh! This stuff is never ending. OH well at least I got to the grocery store yesterday. So maybe we can make a trip to the park today. I won't mention it until we are there though that way I don't have to hear "when will we go to the park??" ten thousand times.

Oh one more thing of note. Thank God for whoever invented baby swings!!! They are a life saver. This is the 1st time BG has let me put her down since her casting. YEA! She is actually sleeping good right now. And the others are eating breakfast and not fighting.....shhh...I better not spoil it.

More later......

This weekend was so busy. On Saturday we went to Chuck's mom's house. That is always an adventure. The kids were so happy to be going somewhere. Unfortunately I made the mistake of asking them Saturday morning where they wanted to go to Grammy's or the fair? One said Grammy's one said the fair. Wee wee wanted to ride the ferris wheel. But the weather was too hot for us to spend the day outside. So we went to Grammy's. Wee wee gets something in her head and it is as good as done though so she kept asking me all day when we were going to the fair. Then on Sunday she still wanted to know when we were going and I truly intended on taking her but it started to rain and it rained all day. So we went to Aunt Carrie's house and then we all went to the museum of natural history. The kids thought he museum was awesome. #1Son thought it was going to be like the movie "night at the museum" He was really excited to see the T Rex exhibit. In the museum there was a glass floor that looked down on a fake aquarium. That was hilarious to watch the kids try to walk across. They each had their own little fears about it, especially Biggoo.
I had a great day and was totally blessed because Carrie passed along so much of her baby stuff to me. I left her house with a pack and play, new car seat, swing, diaper pail and parts to Biggoo's bed rail. I know you might think that I have 4 kids and should have everything I could ever need for a baby, BUT you see when I had Biggoo I foolishly thought we were done, so I gave away EVERYTHING!! As he out grew an item it was gone. We also moved 1000 miles away from home so I got rid of a lot of stuff then. So When I got pregnant with baby girl panic set in because other than the crib that was still being used by Biggoo I pretty much needed everything. And now I need a new crib too because during our last move and then when I graduated Biggoo to a big bed it finally broke bad enough to have to be replaced. But hey it made it through 3 kids and several moves. So I can not complain. I know God will provide for us. He always does. Just the other day I was fretting over how I was going to afford a new swing for her. Since I desperately need to be able to put her down sometime. And then yesterday I got one for free! So, God definitely heard that little prayer I sent up.
Today we have to go to AI DuPont Children's Hospital. Please say a prayer for baby girl. We are going for her first consultation with the orthopedic, for her clubbed foot. Everyone in the family has assured me that this is going to go great. I am nervous. Mostly because I do not know what exactly to expect. Surgery? Castings? I do not know. So please keep us in your prayers. The bright side is that I think Chuck's mom will be meeting me at the hospital this morning to watch the older kids while me and baby girl go to her appointment. That will be so much help. Otherwise I do not know how I would be able to concentrate on what the Doc will tell me.
I have the busiest day today and some where in there I have to squeeze in a trip to the grocery store.....oh my!! I do not want to do it with all the kids but I just may have to as we are out of everything and Daddy has to work late today. Oh well, I will cross that bridge when I get there. For now I have to get this posted and then shower and get the kids up and out so we can take Daddy to work.
I will post later about the Dr visit and the rest of our adventures.

Please pray...

this young family needs your prayers. Their baby boy is a victim of shaken baby syndrome. I am providing a link to her myspace page. Someone myspace also said her story is on Cafemom as well. Here is a link to her story: http://blog.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=blog&friendID=34091583&blogMonth=&BlogDay=&blogYear=&Mytoken=CB6A9907-4035-4BF6-A099DDEF6EE9971135817399